Reclaiming Your Mind

I caught a clip of an interview on the Kelly Clarkson show with Alan Cumming who hosts the American version of Traitors. He talked about the mental torture of the contestants, how they go a little bonkers, and make illogical decisions not knowing who to trust, or what is truth and what is lies. I really enjoy watching Traitors, but it often feels like observing an entertaining and voluntary contest between narcissists and empaths.

It can feel so unfair that some people seem to float through life with little effort and get everything, yet others struggle constantly and no matter how hard they work, their life never gets any better. It’s struggle, struggle, struggle day-in-day-out. Is it that some of us are just unlucky, or were some of us were just meant for a small life or a life of suffering? Or is there more to it?

We all have different stories so you would assume that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to this conundrum. But even though the story is different, and the villains vary, the characters involved may be diverse, and the settings may be unalike, even the number of chapters it lasted differs… the solution may not be so different.

When people try to set boundaries without changing their mindset, they often find it hard to make them stick. To make a boundary effective you need to be firm and confident when you put them in place, if you are, you will have a much better result with them. Creating a mindset that supports YOUR wellbeing and not just other peoples will mean that when you finally say no you will sound convincing and not someone how is unsure of their boundaries.

One of the major keys to healing form narcissistic abuse is to understand that you cannot change them back into who you thought they were. That version of them, the one you loved, cared for, protected, supported and was always there for never existed. That version of them was created to turn you into the person they could use and abuse. They went to great pains to convince you they were the kind of person you need in your life,

I have spent over 10 years in the ‘I’m a survivor’ mode. Being a survivor is depicted as being so honourable, brave and empowering, that Beyonce and Destiny’s Child sang a very catchy song about it. Although I have to say that going through the trauma did not feel very honourable or brave and whilst it was extremely empowering to finally remove myself from the situation, it took every-little-bit of strength I had, and it stole the next ten years for recovery and the rebuil

If you want to get serious about making changes in your life you need to start getting seriously positive!

The other ‘good’ excuses you may hear are ‘you are so sensitive’, ‘you just took it wrong’, ‘you always take things so personally’, ‘it’s ju

If you are dreaming of a life lived better there are steps you can put into place today to make the rest of your life the best of your life: